To Going Forward


(Bautista, Personal Photograph, PyeongChang, South Korea, 2008)

“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way”

I read this saying on a webpage today and it really hit home.

It’s September, and if you are a teacher there is always something special about this time of year.  It’s about newness and unfamiliarity.  It’s about trepidation and being nervous.  It’s about wanting to teach again and also about hoping to learn from your practice.  It’s about your students.

There is much I am attempting to accomplish in my life as I open brand new doors in a brand new part of the world.   I’ve been really going deep within myself and making radical changes to who I am.  I live minimally and selectively.  I try to stay aware of my ego and try to speak kindly overlooking the egos of others.  I await the experiences.

And as the adage says, I am only looking in one direction.

I turn away from the past and all of those moments of doubt.  I turn away from people who have never really been a part of my life.  I let go of the need to identify with objects.  I let go of the need to be diplomatic or to make sure everyone is content.  I will let people conduct their lives and leave my opinions, my assumptions, my perceptions and all speculations unspoken because when they are spoken, I am usually wrong.

I embrace ambiguity.  I will define who I am.  I forgive those who seek to deceive me.  I forgive my mistakes.  I am not perfect.

I am going forward.