(Bautista, A personal photograph taken in the air, 04-21-2015)
I was recently in Toronto and on my flight back to the Maritimes, I found myself at the front of the plane on my own thinking about where my life is heading. I left Toronto’s mixed weather day on my way back to Halifax whose own skies were teeming with dark clouds and rain.
After a long winter on the East coast, I am still waiting for signs of spring.
I am also still waiting for more signs of life – my new life with new dreams and new destinations to come.
There is a lot circulating in my mind – I am trying to stay focused and not drift down familiar paths especially ones that have led nowhere. I am trying to really pay attention to my body and soul – to staying on course and not being distracted by meaningless practices or patterned behaviours or destructive vices or …
I am trying to work hard – paying close attention to every fibre of my being whether it be for work or for my physicality or for my mindset.
I was also thinking that no one wants to be sad but there are dire times that are inescapable – I must feel these sensations then let them go. I must let the emotions die a timely death.
From their demise, I rise again – as the phoenix from the flame.
When the plane ascended, I remembered that just above all the clouds there is light – there is everlasting sun.
I am always comfortable flying – I am probably the most comfortable with who I am because I am above the ego-bound practices of the earth, my own egoic actions included.
As we maintained this altitude above the clouds, I remembered something I wrote in 2002 – I paste it here as a memo to self that I am not just of the earth.
If I stay focused and deeply connected to my life purpose then I soar above all that I’ve conceived as failure or woe or misery – I soar towards newness and beyond the ordinary.
I fly above doubt and thrive with the greatest light of all – one that illuminates from within.
(Bautista February 2002)